Goin’ to the Chapel – one day at our faith-based preschool as we walked into the sanctuary for Children’s Chapel Time, where the minister was ready at the altar to give his weekly mini-sermon, I asked a very loud four-year-old to “please use your inside voice” and his reply to me with all the children, teachers, parents, and the reverend pastor within ear range, was, “Aw, F— Off, Mrs. Bensinger!” It is one of my fondest memories, but that is not the F word we’re talking about here.

FOOD, FEAR, FRUSTRATION, and FATIGUE – These Four Fs are the main causes of misbehavior in children under eight years of age.Before reacting to unwanted or unsafe behaviors, try your best to immunize against them by remembering these things. Let’s talk about the first two – Food and Fear.

FOOD means hunger, overfullness, allergic reaction, or food sensitivity. Young children feel sensory stimuli very strongly (including itchy tags in clothes, carpet textures, tight shoes, extreme temperatures) and are more apt to whine, fuss, or be unfocused, hyperactive, or aggressive when they are physically uncomfortable.

For teachers this means assuring that children eat nutritious foods on appropriate schedules, having snacks and WATER available, using nutrition education in lesson plans, watching carefully for food related problems and behavior changes, and sharing food issues with parents. I stress WATER because children should be drinking it all day long. Yes, there will be more wet pants and trips to the potty, but water physically lubricates the brain and makes learning and behavior better.

FEAR means both overt fearfulness (loud noises, strangers, animals) and nervousness. There are ages at which the Gesell Institute says children are naturally more prone to nervousness and fear (18 months, 3 ½, and 5 years) and of course individual children may be naturally hesitant simply because of their personal nature or home environment.

When children are nervous, fearful, under pressure to perform, or going through normal developmental stages of stress they may show it by misbehaving or by refusing to participate.

With children who are hesitant to participate, teachers need to be warm and comforting and talk to parents about the nerves. Encourage but never overtly force participation and never apply excessive pressure to perform to any standards that are not developmentally correct. Do not label them ‘shy’ and never publicly call attention to their feelings.

I have seen sincerely well-meaning teachers do this in many classrooms. and I have even (gasp) seen adults USE a child’s personal fears to ‘motivate’ good behavior.         

Stop it! It’s Mean!

Next Blog: Couple More F Words