We need to deal with each child’s behaviors by understanding these developmental guidelines:

Infants – Children under one year of age have no behaviors that can be described as annoying or distracting except for excessive crying, and this is not a negative behavior, but an expression of hunger, pain, discomfort, illness, or need for attention. These expressions should be dealt with by the teacher simply meeting the infant’s need. “Bending” or “breaking” the infant’s will, or insisting he conform to a more convenient schedule or pattern before he is ready to do so is bad teaching. The smooth brain waves created by the repeated back-and-forth dance of need and met need make infants calmer and (dare I say it?) smarter.
Babies – Babies can have personally unsafe behaviors like putting stuff in their mouths or reaching for unsafe objects. This is handled by creation of a physically safe environment and by redirection that may be accompanied by a verbal “warning” like, “No, Baby. Yuck. No Dirt.” Babies do occasionally bite each other out of curiosity and frustration or out of a need to communicate. This can be a harmful behavior, but is very natural and not a “bad” behavior. There are no ‘bad’ babies. Baby biting needs to be handled by the teacher assuring that there is adequate space for all babies and adequate numbers of toys so that space is not ‘invaded’ and possessions are not taken.

Toddlers – Children from one to two may have separation anxiety and tantrums that can be described as annoying and those can escalate to being quite distracting and contagious. If crying over separation anxiety or a tantrum increases to excessive screaming, kicking, flailing, or trying to run from the room, or is an obvious disturbance for the other children, the child may need to be removed from the environment to calm down. Don’t impose consequences for a toddler’s emotional outbursts as they are not purposefully harmful.

Twos – Children of this age run the gamut of negative behaviors, most of them natural, but needing to be handled more strongly than those of toddlers. Personally unsafe and harmful behaviors in twos need to be handled by stating the rule and giving a warning on the first offense and Imposing a promised and pre-determined consequence on the second.

The annoying behavior of refusal to comply (the NO!!’s) begin now, because the two is trying to assert his independence. This two year old’s refusals to follow simple requests can sometimes be handled by a particular way of redirecting with a warning called allowing a natural consequence to occur. (Example: at cleanup time if a Two says NO to helping, a teacher might say, “Oh, too bad. You won’t be able to go to the playground with us until you put your truck away”).

Two Tantrums*&^!@! – There are three methods of dealing with tantrums. The first one is to use redirection, the second is to ignore it and let it run its course, and the third is to ‘control’ the child who is out of control. Redirection works if there are some entertaining distractions and the child hasn’t crossed that threshold of being out of control. Ignoring works unless it becomes so distracting to other children that the learning process is interrupted and contagious behavior begins.

If staffing allows, the tantrum child may need to be removed from the classroom until he has gained control. A good teacher will know which method to use. After the tantrum has passed, the teacher needs to forgive and forget. It’s exhausting for everyone.

Words of Wisdom – My favorite tantrum tale is that of Niki, who cried daily until he vomited. After three weeks of this, his classmate, Rebecca, told him, “Nitty! If you want to flow up, Flow Up at Home!” I find this a very acceptable motto to live by.

Threes, Fours, and Fives – Children over two need to understand the consequences of negative behavior and take ownership of them. Annoying behaviors need to be boycotted (ignored or given no positive attention) and personally unsafe and harmful behaviors need to be handled with the system of natural consequence, stating the rule and warning for first offense, and imposing of the pre-determined consequence for second offense.

Next Blog: A Final Thought on the Philosophy of Discipline