Freedom to Make and Use Mistakes – Children need the freedom to make mistakes in their work and to use them to gain new knowledge. The ‘trial and error’ system is the most natural method of learning. If teachers create a learning environment which allows children to feel all right about making mistakes (and making attempts) and gives them time and opportunity to use those missteps – through the process of elimination – to find the best way to solve problems, they are giving children a lifelong gift.

All scientific discovery of note has been made using this method. The child who can comfortably have an attitude characterized by, “OK, that did not work well. Now I know there must be a different or better way to solve this”, is a child who can better deal with frustration and keep working until a problem is solved.

Wise teachers allow children to make attempts and mistakes without making immediate judgments or corrections. They relax about ‘wrong’ answers and assist both children and parents to understand the importance of trial and error learning which helps children learn strategies for using the mistakes to create new learning challenges. When a child knows what does not work, he knows more about what might work. When he is criticized, over corrected, or punished for mistakes, he is less likely to try again and more likely to either lose interest in an experience or not participate at all for fear of disapproval.

Young children quickly bond with and learn to revere and love teachers who are kind, warm, and offer much for them to enjoy. Five year olds, in particular, will treat the word of the TEACHER as gold, often saying to their parents, “TEACHER says. . . or TEACHER does it this way!” Teachers must assure they are worthy of that reverence by letting each child know that they are always respected in the learning community and that mistakes – in work OR behavior – will not change that respect.

Teachers must learn to use children’s mistakes as well. These missteps in the path to growth are signs that there may be a need to observe more closely, give more individual attention, or make curricular changes. Of course, children need to ‘hear’ about both mistakes and successes so they can be aware of their needs and take ownership of their work (and behavior) and there are many ways to celebrate success.

It’s tempting to use tangible rewards to celebrate these successes, but the best way is to use gestures, smiles, hugs, and praise that encourages intrinsic motivation which is praise that encourages the child to be proud of himself and his accomplishment rather than relying on praise from another person. Instead of saying, “I’m proud of you”, find a way to say, “You must be so proud!”, or “How do you feel about that?”

Tigers, Helicopters, and Trophies, Oh, My! – There is a lot of debate these days among parents, teachers and experts about the different styles of parenting and educating – the Tiger Mom or Tiger Teacher pushes her children to do better than other children and refuses to praise or even accept work that is of “lesser’ standard quality. The non-competition-everybody-gets-a trophy system unrealistically praises all children equally and plays down individual strengths. The Helicopter philosophy describes a parent or teacher so concerned about both safety and failure that they hover over a child, often doing much for him that the child needs to learn to do for himself.

Use common sense. Somewhere between the tiger teacher, the /nobody’s a loser’, and the helicopter, is the right place to be. Set standards and have high expectations for each child, but allow each one the freedom to find his own way of problem-solving; give his attempts and errors respect before correcting them; give him time and opportunity to correct them himself; never make snap judgments about mistakes or use them for diagnosis of a severe problem without a great deal observation, collaboration, and referral to a professional diagnostician; and adopt a relaxed attitude about “deadlines” in child development.

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