Self-Esteem – the Ability to Feel Good About Yourself

• Create an atmosphere of respect for each child in respect to physical appearance, name, age, gender, ability, ethnicity, race, culture, faith, and above all behavior; assure each child that his family deserves the same respect.
• Greet each child (and parent) in a warm welcoming way every day and pronounce, spell, and write each child’s name and family name correctly at all times. I know I said this already, but it gets on my very last nerve when I see little sad sack threes come off the bus or out of dad’s car with that look that says, “I hate school. I can’t do the monkey bars. I’m hungry. Mama spanked me this morning. I wanted to wear my Ariel shoes. Yesterday I spilled the paint and pinched that big poopy-head Thomas”, and his teacher doesn’t smile at him, look him in the eyes, and say “Good Morning, My Friend! I am so glad you’re here!”
• Display children’s words and children’s work on classroom and campus. I have probably said this before too, but it is definitely a pet peeve of mine that Walt Disney gets more props in our classrooms than the children. He was a great guy, but his self-esteem does not need your attention. Classrooms should be decorated with the art of the children (and the art of famous artists you think the children might learn from).
• Reduce stress and pressure to perform IT IS PROCESS, NOT PRODUCT!
• Be INTIMATELY and THOROUGHLY familiar with the ages and stages of development.
• Have developmentally appropriate expectations for skill attainment and behavior
  Liberate yourself from the notion that a child’s meeting a specific set of academic standards determines “success” for either the child or the teacher.

Self-Regulation – the Ability to Control Your Behavior

Use a system of discipline that is:

• Based on the philosophy that every child is good because he/she exists
• Calls for values of wellness and nonviolence, modeling of appropriate behavior, and the noticing and praising with attention of appropriate behavior
• Reserves its strongest negative consequences for unsafe behaviors. I call this the VMAN system (Values, Modeling, Appropriateness, and Noticing).

Understand that the purpose of discipline is not to control, but to engender self-discipline

Create a mood of warmth, humor, and respect while actively modeling and encouraging techniques of relaxation

Provide experiences that encourage curiosity and build success so learning is enjoyable

Offer many opportunities for each child to gain independence by:

• Doing things for and by himself and for others
• Having a classroom job every day
• Making decisions about his learning and his behaviors

Accept the strong and often-changing emotions of young children and how those emotions rule their behaviors. Recognize the reasons for the emotions and the behaviors, not as excuses, but explanations and assist each child in self-regulation and redirection of those emotions into harmless and appropriate expressive channels

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel”.   -Anon.

Next Blog: DAP for the Spirit – Self-Awareness: A Sense of Humor

All research (and I’m not going to quote any of it – it all says the same thing) agrees that there is a correlation between self-esteem and success in learning.  In terms of the importance of emotional safety. it is not ‘success of the fittest, but ‘success of the safest’.

Children who feel good about themselves learn with more quality than children with poor self-images.  A good early childhood program is a place where children are treated with warmth, humor, acceptance, and respect; where there are firm, fair, and developmentally appropriate limits on harmful behavior; and where there are strong connections with the families of each child. 

The skills of self-awareness are separation, self-concept, self-esteem, and self-regulation, and one I like to add, the development of a sense of humor. Here are some more specific examples of using DAP to build these skills.    

Separation – The Ability to Leave the Nest

• Create and maintain a system for parent-child separation that is warm, relaxed, and positive and ask parents to pick children up in a timely way every day.
• Let the parent be the guide unless the separation process disrupts the learning process.

 

Self-Concept – the Ability to Know Yourself

• Say and spell each child’s name correctly
• Offer experiences that give each child opportunities to use his body in positive ways that promote health, strength, and stamina
• Allow each child to role play in costumes and clothing of his choice without making stereotypical judgements on gender. They will figure it all out.
• Display positive non-stereotypical photos and pictures of persons of all gender, ethnicity, ability, and age
• Give daily opportunities for children to see themselves in mirrors
• Talk about gender, ethnicity, ability, age, and family composition in terms of fact
• Help your children understand the realities of their limits ONLY in terms of SAFETY

 

Next Blog: DAP for the Spirit – Self-Awareness #2: Self-Esteem and Self-Regulation