Lovies are what some of us call pacifiers, blankets, & other items young children use to create security when they are feeling stress, or what I call the 4 F’s: Food, Fear, Frustration, and Fatigue.

Over my 40 years in the business, I have seen a wide variety of these items from the usual baby blanket or bottle, pacifier, or stuffed animal to the more unique – pillows, stress balls, a bag of cotton balls, the ear (just the ear) of a grandma-made terry cloth bunny rabbit, and various pieces of mommy’s lingerie.

If you’re honestly and earnestly using DAP (and I hope you are) you do not snatch these things away at school under the misguided belief that a child is ‘too old’ for them. Removing them or denying access to them during the day is not developmentally appropriate, not “TEACHING”, and not nice.

Good teachers understand the need for lovies and set up a system that gives each child access to his security item when THE CHILD feels the need to have it. This supports the positive emotional environment in the classroom needed for each child to feel safe, and in education, it is SUCCESS OF THE SAFEST.

It is a known fact that reduction of stress makes the behaviors in a classroom better for students and teachers, so why increase stress by removing security?

Of course, many teachers will say these things are disruptive, annoying to keep up with, unattractive, and cause dependency – WRONG! Even toddlers can learn to put their lovey in their cubby as long as they are assured of access when THEY feel the need.

How do you handle stress? Remember this:

I’m a little human. Like you, I am real. I deserve to feel what big humans feel.

When you’re on edge or sad or sleepy, what do you need so you’re not so weepy?

Chocolate? Coffee? Ice cream, maybe? When I need my lovey, I’m not being ‘a baby’!

 

Next Blog: Lovies Part 2 – To Wean or Not to Wean?